This Veterans nightmares have returned

I volunteered and served in Vietnam from 1966 through 1968 two long tours. I find myself these 40 years later once again waking in a sweat. I thought the nightmares were finally over. Then Bush invaded Iraq!

 I would often see young boys and girls sitting in waiting rooms in the Kingsbridge Veterans Hospital in the NY  to get medical exams prior to being shipped out. Then one day I sat across from a young man, all dressed up in his pressed sandy tan camoflage uniform. I looked and looked at him, his young boyish face, oh so young and confident, his clear bright eyes looked directly into this old soldiers eyes with an expression of pride and patriotism. I couldn't hold myself back and spoke out to him. "Shipping out to Iraq, young man?" I said "Yes sir" he responded with a clear tone of respect in his voice for who I represented to him. My Cap emblazoned with the words "Vietnam Combat Veteran" gave me away. I paused for a second then found myself asking him a question only old folks ask young boys who are actually young men. "How old are you my boy?" He politely answered "23, sir". "Good luck" was my reply. I went silent. Then as he rose up and marched off to his destiny it suddenly dawned on me. I felt clamy and cold all over. If it wasn't for my wheelchair I would have fallen to the floor. I had just faced off with the ghost of myself from 40 years ago! I was his exact age when I went to VN I was staring into the mirror of my past. I have not been the same since and the night nightmares have returned. I don't think anyone can hate this war more than those of us who still live the horrors of the last one. We best honor all who are serving in Iraq by ending this horror show. the sooner the better.

•  Yes

  We all hope that Iraq will end soon.

  Thank you for your service.
  utahgirl

  by nio on Sun Nov 12, 2006 at 05:46:04 AM PDT

•  We need a Dept of Peace

  We need to develop that culture in this Country.  I asked a man this summer who was running for office as a Repub this question.  If abortion is murder than why isn't it murder, in war, when we drop bombs on women and children?  He got nervous and started down the steps.  I then asked, If God gave us the right to choose between good and evil, why did the repubs want to take that away from the people.  Then he left.  The peace movement needs to get these questions out to the public.  We as a Country need to change our way of thinking.  World dominence or World peace?

  by Owllwoman on Sun Nov 12, 2006 at 05:53:47 AM PDT

•  As one who vistited the Bronx VA back then

  I know only you and others who have served really understand the cost of this was.

  For your own peace of mind, know that your service is honored and that your work to change this administration is working.

  PTSD can come roaring back when you least expect it. Please ask for help the next time you go to the VA.

  Know there are people here who care and keep posting.

  by LuLu on Sun Nov 12, 2006 at 06:01:22 AM PDT

  •  Obviously

    that word was supposed to be "war."

    by LuLu on Sun Nov 12, 2006 at 06:30:58 AM PDT

  •  Senator-elect Webb wants on VA Committee

    and hopefully, he will get that position and can begin to make this nation keep its promises to the troops/veterans by increasing VA funding as well as timeliness and quality of care.  I worked for the VA for over 30 years, and saw daily the price that we ask our troops to pay--we owe them so much more than we can ever repay--quality, compassionate and timely care is the least we can do.  

    I've seen the many failures of the VA system, but I've also seen the "above & beyond efforts" of many dedicated, compassionate employees, many of whom are veterans themselves.  I hope that American citizens will wake up and understand that supporting the troops doesn't begin and end with putting a yellow ribbon magnet on their cars.  Supporting the troops means demanding they have competent, honorable leaders, who fully understand the cost they ask troops and their families to pay. It also means ensuring that they receive the best care and support from the VA when they return home.

    by kurious on Sun Nov 12, 2006 at 06:59:03 AM PDT

•  My friend Jack

  was on a battle ship.  He didn't get hit, but they shot off rounds at all hours of the day and night and he did end up with PTSD even if he did not have to watch his friends die around him or come home with any physical scars.
  He turned against the war when the younger men who were drafteed started to come on the ship and worked under him.  They had a lot to say about the war and he listened.  He had joined in 1960 and thought he would stay in as a career.  But after 12 years he retired and became an anti-war protester.  
  The other day my son sent me one of those annoying roundabout emails...all patriotic and manipulative, ment to make us all stooges for the idea that we had to support the war to support the troops and veterans.

  He sent it because there was an image of a man, old before his time, sitting in a chair looking at the flag.  The painting looked like Jack.

  I started to send him back a quick note thanking him for thinking of Jack.  But it turned in to a 15 paragraph essay.  It suddenly occured to me that we had, by allowing this war to happen, sent our children in to a future (and I said this to him) where some of his peers would still be paying the price 40 years later, for choices their parents generation made. And I cried wondering how we could make this choice for them with so little consideration for their future.  It breaks my heart.
  So I urged Ian to remember his peers who are serving and to please please not do to his childrens generation what we have done to his...to spare our grandchildren.
  We should never ever have asked our kids to fight an unjust and futile war.  It is one thing to fight to defend out nation or stop Hitler from taking over europe.  It is entirely another to go to war to force democracy on a country where they are not ready or interested in it and to fight a guerilla war in a nation where we are not really wanted by either side.

  Jack would want to say to you, "Welcome Home".   He died several years ago of lung cancer.  Before he died he was just starting to get in touch with some of the guys he served with.  He had a reall love/hate relationship with the Navy and the military.  He remembered the other guys with affection, but not so much the Navy Brass.  

  by TeresaInPa on Sun Nov 12, 2006 at 06:06:20 AM PDT

•  Thank you for your service

  even if it was as a squid

  by breezeview on Sun Nov 12, 2006 at 06:12:12 AM PDT

  •  "even if it was as a squid"

    Someone needs to Educate Themselves on Vietnam and what The Servides Do, especially Us Squids!

    USN '67-'71 GMG3 Vietnam In-Country '70-'71, by the way the previous 3yrs. were also shore duty, only ships were Cuban as Security through the Panama Canal, which frankly wasn't needed!!

    by jimstaro on Sun Nov 12, 2006 at 07:02:33 AM PDT

•  I was there 65-66

  and while the mind is mostly merciful, I understand awakening in a sweat recollecting something from the past.  

  This war, like Vietnam, could have been avoided.  The damage done is irreparable.  How much longer are we going to let those in suits and ties, comfortably warm, well fed and self-satisfied, and who never served, send us off to die for their ill-conceived and often corrupt purposes?  

  For the right reasons, those who have been there would serve again...gladly...even knowing fully the pain to come.  But for this?  For Dick Cheney?  Because of lies and misinformation?  For oil?  So the rich can get comfortably richer while the poor and middle classes toil to keep afloat?

  I don't think so.  Our loved ones have bravely and proudly served.  They have been tested and shown their mettle.  They are our current and next generation of leaders and they will remember.  Bring them home now.  

   

  by Persiflage on Sun Nov 12, 2006 at 06:17:49 AM PDT

•  Thanks for Everything -Recommended (n/t)

  by Heronymous Cowherd on Sun Nov 12, 2006 at 06:25:52 AM PDT

•  It Must End Soon

  and hopefully with men like Senators-elect Tester and Webb, who know the true costs of war, it will.

  Thank you for your service sir, and my prayers go out for the 23-year-old soldier and all those like him who will return from Iraq changed forever.  I hope we have learned from our past mistakes and will offer them more support and better commanders-in-chief in the future.

  by kurious on Sun Nov 12, 2006 at 06:49:01 AM PDT

•  I Know......

  Way Too Many, of my fellow 'Nam Brothers, going through the same!

  For some it happened as soon as the 'Shock and Awe' started, probably even before as well, just thinking about what was to happen.

  For others it came on gradually, for Way Too Many, who like me don't suffer the Complete PTSD Nightmares, the Memories of 'Nam have once again become far to Clear, like we had just returned from!!!!!

  You can Offer much needed Help to our now No Longer 'Younger' Brothers/Sisters returning from their Hell as No One Else Can, Except Another Vet Who's Lived The Experiance, both than and since!!!

  We've Got Each Others Backs Bro!!!!!!!

  by jimstaro on Sun Nov 12, 2006 at 07:12:08 AM PDT